Be My Anti-Valentine
The 14th of February comes with connotations of roses, candlelit dinners and being swept of your feet. For many people this holiday is about spending time with loved ones and showing
them that you care about them. However, I think Valentine’s Day over the years has lost its
meaning and morphed into a holiday that people can dread. I thought I’d write about a few
of these reasons why Valentine’s Day is not a day of love for everyone. Of course, it’s
important to mention that I think Valentine’s Day is a great holiday as we can show people
that we care about them, but we also need to address the problems with it and maybe
celebrate this day differently.
Firstly, there is a culture of consumerism that surrounds Valentine’s Day. We might feel that
we must spend money on gifts and an expensive dinner for our partners, but this is not true,
and it might create an unfair expectation.
The National Retail Federation has been collecting data on Valentine’s Day spending for
over 10 years and have predicted that roughly $26 billion will be spent on this day in 2023!
The household spending this year is expected to be around $193. Their statistics show that
around 52% of people will celebrate this year which has decreased from 2007 where 63% of
people celebrated. This spending is fuelled by the countless adverts and products directed
to couples for them to spend more money. In my opinion, Valentine’s Day has become more
and more commercialised, and people might feel pressured to spend money when they
don’t need to. There are many ways we can show people we care about them, and I don’t
think material things are the only option.
In addition to the huge amounts being spent, much of what we buy is not environmentally
friendly and contributes greatly to plastic pollution. For example, balloons, glitter and little
decorations are not biodegradable and can take hundreds of years to degrade fully. Also,
around 8,000 trees are used to make the 25 million cards that are sent each year. I think it’s
important to make sure what we buy is eco-friendly, the earth also deserves to feel cared
for on this day!
Furthermore, Valentine’s Day is often very heteronormative and there is little focus on
LGBTQ+ relationships. There is an interesting article that highlights the issues with inclusivity
on Valentine’s Day, they mention that there is little representation of LGBTQ+ relationships
in adverts, cards and gifts as this is mostly associated with heterosexual couples. They also
point out that Valentine’s Day is not inclusive to many groups including different ethnicities
and body types, and people with disabilities. The issue with this is that it excludes large
groups of people and after all everyone deserves to feel represented on a day about love.
Valentine’s Day can place a lot of pressure and expectations on couples and people not in a
relationship. In some cases, it might set us up for disappointment as we expect a day of
romance, but our expectations are unmet. An article suggests that an overlooked but
important part of Valentine’s Day is communication about each other’s expectations.
For those who are not in a relationship, Valentine’s Day can make people feel pressured to
be in one and feel like they’re missing out.
While Valentine’s Day is mostly celebrated by couples, it is important to remember the
other relationships in our lives that are not romantic. For example, the ones we have with
our friends and family and celebrating it on this day.
Thanks for reading and have a lovely Valentine’s Day!
Resources-
Reducing waste on Valentine’s Day-
https://www.veolia.co.uk/nottinghamshire/Valentines
Consumerism on Valentine’s Day-
https://nrf.com/research-insights/holiday-data-and-trends/valentines-day
Heteronormativity and Inclusivity on Valentine’s Day-
https://www.injectionmag.com/post/heteronormative-bias-valentines-day
This is a really good article about a non-binary person’s experiences on Valentine’s Day-
https://littlethings.com/family-and-parenting/valentine-heteronormativity/valentine-
hetero-2
The expectations of Valentine’s Day-
https://hellogiggles.com/how-to-talk-about-valentines-day-with-your-partner/
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